i'm pretty sure my brain is gonna explode sometime during the next week.....thanks to my lingering illness which left me pretty much out of it for the last two weeks....i am sitting directly behind the proverbial 8-ball.....i've got to write a 15 (will end up being around 10) page historiography paper for my major professor Dr. Dietz by sometime next week or so....I also need to write a 3-4 page paper to make up for the speech i missed due to my sickness as well as a 2 page precis and annotated bibliography...both of which are due by this thursday! not to mention i'm supposed to read a midwife's tale by thursday as well! ugh!

and we aren't even gonna talk about what i need to give to stater since i haven't done ANYTHING for him all semester....thankfully the other grad student allison hasn't done anything either and is in the same boat! so if he fails us he fails two grad students!!! fun stuff.....

i've taken a few preliminary steps to getting caught up......yesterday i worked on my bibliography--didn't do annotations but that shouldn't be too difficult.....also have a clue what i'm gonna write the precis on....it's only two pages so it shouldn't take me too ungodly long......i read the dutton book (big change for once) so i'm not envisioning too much a problem writing something on it.......i went to the library this morning when i got to campus to get my LaLink card which allows me to go to other school's libraries and check things out! so i'm gonna head to Tulane tomorrow and check out a bunch of books for the Dietz paper and try to crank out a chunk of work on it then turn my attention to all the stuff i owe to marchand! ugh.......

STRESS!!!!!!

i've been sick for nearly a month now...ugh! this totally sucks.......i just can't seem to take enough time to let myself get well before i have to go back to work....i start feeling better but then i go back to work and i feel bad again! it is a never ending cycle...i'm sooooo tired of being sick! my mom is sending me some meds and vitamins though so hopefully i can dose myself up and get better that way.....at this moment though i'm utterly miserable! i'm barely sitting up straight in bed, and my eyes are so watery that i can't even focus enough to watch the tv...plus my ears are all full so i can't hear really well.......poor tripp has been sleeping at my feet for most of the day...i'm such a bad mommy....i have barely done anything with him today.......

i've been quite active in the dating scene these last couple of weeks.....trying to move on and not think about chris and that whole fiasco.....but after three very nice dates--all with really nice guys.....i still feel blah! i had a blast on all of the dates...we had good conversations and most of them were attractive enough....but no sparks....no rush of excitement to see them again....no fireworks.....no butterflies......no nothing.....i mean after my first date with chris i was practically vibrating with anticipation....i remember being so excited for him to call....giddy.....and none of these guys has even made me twitch with excitement....just blah......

one on hand it is probably the that the guys i'm with aren't "right" for me.....but then again that means that chris was "right"....which is an all together unappealing thought......i don't know..... i think i'm going to take a break from men for a while....concentrate on me, my work and my friends.....i don't think i'm ready to go out in the dating world right now....especially if i come away from a date missing chris.....definitely not progress.....so i think i'm retired from men for a while (well not before friday because one of them offered to take to me to one of my favorite restaraunts and see the new george clooney movie!!!)........

halloween turned out to be amazing! teresa and phat drove down yesterday morning and got here around 1ish.....we hung out and they played with trip for a while....then we started the long process of getting ready.....teresa was a sexy wizard and phat was spock from star trek.....he actually made most of his costume! it was awesome......i was a sexy fairy! i had these awesome blue feather eye lashes!!! i felt sorta like a drag queen but otherwise got lots of compliments.......

left the house around 3 to find parking and get to work by 4....found an EXCELLENT parking spot after circling for a while and got to work just in time! it was great to see everyone dressed up......and i loved having phat and teresa to introduce to my cats people....it's two worlds colliding! it was awesome at work....lots of fun and costumes!

then my grad school friends got down there and i finally got off at 9.....we then walked from bourbon to see all the locals down on frenchmen st.....AMAZ-A-BALLS!!! it was so much fun.....teresa, phat and i kinda pooped out around 2ish (well technically it was 1 since we fell back but i consider it to be 2).....we left my grad friends back at cats and headed home.....

we got up this morning and i took them back to the quarter for beignets and some poboys!!! totally fun weekend! so sad to see everyone go......but there's always next year!!

so halloween has officially started for me.....i'm going to class today and then jetting down to work...costume in hand for my happy hour shift today! and when i get home teresa and phat should almost be here!!!

tomorrow i'm gonna take them around the quarter before i have to come home and get ready.....my fairy costume is pretty involved so it is gonna take me a bit to put it on with all the makeup.....then it's back to cats for another happy hour shift......while there my friends from grad school have all promised to stop by and hang out......then when i get off at 9 i'll take everyone down to Frenchmen st where all the locals go to party!!! i went down there last halloween with fuckface (yes that is his official nickname now).....and it was amazing!

can't wait......

in other thoughts....sam stayed over last night....i seem to forget how nice it is sleeping next him....cuddling up...it makes me miss some parts of this summer......and then i wake up to find a literal trail of granola wrappers into the bathroom and i'm not so nostalgic! oh and did i mention he doesn't always flush when he pees! ick!

on the whole i'm doing pretty well....after last week's fireworks i'm kinda just left in shock......sad and in shock.....oh well! i'm not gonna dwell on things since i didn't do anything wrong....

what i will say is that i'm really lucky! almost immediately after the craziness i had people coming out of the wood work to support me....most of them being either cat's people or new grad friends!!! if chris ever sets foot in cats he will sorely regret it!!! if security doesn't kill him first, the entertainment crew will kill him......and we know how to get rid of bodies down here!! and sam was a huge support this weekend.....giving me love, running errands for me when i didn't feel like leaving the house.....just being with me....having a warm body was really helpful!

anywho...i'm ready for teresa and crew to be down here for halloween! i'm soooo excited! gonna rock out this year with new and old friends.....

while eating my lunch in the union i overheard two girls discussing options for study abroad destinations that lsu is offering....one girl turns to the other and says "i should really do the turkey trip...i'd come home skinny cuz i wouldn't eat the food"........AWESOME!!! loves it!!!

geez it's been forever since i got a chance to post....ever since school started i've been running at full tilt.....but i have like five minutes before i gotta walk to stater's class so i thought i'd jot a quick note to the world.....

i spent the majority of yesterday writing a ridiculous paper using a SINGLE volume of plantation records....really it should just be labeled historical fiction it's such a piece of b.s......but i did finish it in just enough time for me to get up and go to work at cat's......i closed with rebecca.....i so enjoy working with her....i think we are actually getting to be pretty good friends! work was ok.....the only really standout thing that happened was a really hot guy popping wood on stage while singing travis tritt's "fireman"....i couldn't stop staring and giggling....i thought rebecca was gonna knock me off stage!

anywho....my parents are coming down this weekend to deliver the futon i bought while i was home last weekend.....i'm kinda apprehensive about it.....mostly because chris wants to meet them....i hope everyone puts on their best face....cuz if you know my parents they can be incredibly embarassing (remember when my dad used to howl in the mall) yeah....they are also gonna come to see me at cats.....which is gonna be interesting since my mom doesn't really like loud music!

oh well......i better run to class......not really run more trudge since i'm working on very little sleep!

what a change a day makes!?!? or more like--what a change an emotional confrontation makes!? last friday's emotional outpouring with chris seems to have really made a change in him.....it's AMAZING!!! i always knew that he'd be great....but damn was i right!!!!

he's called EVERYTIME he's said he would....we have hung out EVERYTIME he's promised he would....he's thoughtful and caring and loving......OMG! i'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop and him turn back into a pumpkin....and i'm definitely not saying that won't happen but things are (for the moment) really going well between us.....he's been considerate in every way i could want even to the smallest things--opening car doors for me and having me call when i get home so he knows i'm safe......it is sorta surreal....i've waited so long for emotions like this from him that i'm kinda shocked that i'm actually getting it.....freaking WEIRD!!!

don't worry! i haven't forgotten all the tears and hurts he dished out before.....but honestly, that was before he said he loved me! he was adamant that he didn't want to care about me...but now he's taken the step to say he loved me and he's actually ACTING like it......

i don't know where this is going but i'm liking the direction!

well i'm 1/2 way through my first week of phd school! and so far so good.....except for the irritating traffic the drive to baton rouge isn't really that bad...i'm sure i will get tired of it just like i got tired of treking from hammond to chalmette--but if i get to live and work where i want then it's an acceptable trade off......

my two classes i've been to are dr. stater's tudor/stuart england and dr. dietz (my major professor) late medieval class.....both really interesting.....both are classes i pretty much know the material in....so it's kinda boring in that i've already gotten the overall material.....basically i'm sitting in on two undergrad classes and the hard part comes when i have to do extra outside reading and such! but stater and dietz seem really relaxed and laid back....as of today i have to read two chapters in one book for dr. stater by next monday and two books under 130 pages by next wednesday for dr. dietz! totally doable....especially since there are no papers involved! just discussion....rock on! i have one new friend in grad school that already had 4 books and three papers due by next week....GO ME!!! i'm on the slow road! i'll totally take the easy way out this semester while i get my feet under me.....

and actually having two classes on mwf is better....cuz driving all that way for only one class is kinda dumb! and now i can knock two of them out with one trip! so for the most part i'm good! i'm just tired right now and unmotivated to get started packing....i gotta get my shit together so i can get into my new apt next week! hopefully i can get the electricity and internet set up so i can actually LIVE THERE!!! i've got to have internet to do my school work.....and electricity goes without saying.....hopefully that will all get worked out!

ooooo and carolina might be visiting next weekend! yay....my first guests! hope they don't mind the floor....cuz the couches are gone!!!

wow....i can't believe it is actually here....my first day as a grad student at lsu! i almost thought it would never happen! at the moment i'm mostly feeling alittle nervous....worried about the little things like finding a parking spot...getting stuck in baton rouge traffic....not so much about the class i'm taking today....it's a late medieval class with my major professor maribel dietz! i'm looking forward to it...it should be loads of fun! i've already got the syllabus, just have to print it out! i still need to go school supplies shopping......that's always my favorite part of the year anyway.....just want to pick up so new pens and such.....i think i'll wait and do that tomorrow though! i gotta go to work after school tonight.....

it was a really nice night at work...we were super slow but that's kinda what made it fun.....rebecca's husband mike came in and it's always crazy when he comes with rebecca! for example i'm standing on the stage and i look out into the courtyard and see mike fly against the wall and slide down....of course i'm like WTF!!??! so i go to investigate....turns out that mike and one of the barbacks jesus aka justin were doing "karate" moves....kinda like 3rd grade boys do....and had turned the courtyard into their training area!! it was hilarious!! mike kept saying things like "see this is what you do if there are multiple attackers" or "see that move would have killed two people".....they were jumping on tables, running up walls, and diving over bars!!! all while becca was on stage trying to work!!

we closed super early (around 1) and normally i would go hang out with everyone at johnny whites but i had to come home since school was starting....it was soooo funny! mike didn't know i was going to lsu and when he found out he insisted that he and becca walk me to my car and that i go straight to bed!!! cuz lsu is sacred like that!!

great night...great people!!

omg! just got awesome news about that apartment i wanted.....i got it!! woohoo! i'm so stoked....the place is really super nice.....like on par with my apt in hammond nice! 2 bedrooms ( a really huge maser), one bathroom, brand new kitchen appliances, washer/dryer in the apartment, hard wood floors in the living area, carpet in the bedrooms! and a nice backyard for trip to run around in!

and as much excitement as i have...i'm also completely nervous! what if i'm doing the wrong thing??? what if i should really give up all my jobs and move to baton rouge?? how am i gonna move everything and go to school!?!?! did i mention it is an upstairs apt!?

i haven't lived alone in a year.....and i certainly haven't lived alone in new orleans before......i guess i'm just kinda scared!

had orientation this morning....it was a bit stressful in that i only got four hours sleep and then got stuck in TRAFFIC FROM HELL! i remember now why i hate baton rouge so much....i seriously left two hours early for an hour trip and BARELY made it with five minutes to spare....i nearly shit a brick

anywho...mostly the orientation was just a "hi welcome to the program" thing! nothing too profound....but the best part (ok so the best part in my sad little life) was when i was running to find where i was supposed to meet everyone--i went into the history dept office....well dr. stater was in there talking to the dept secretary....he looks up and says "hi lauren....we are meeting in room 253"....OMG! he hasn't seen me since i met with him in October or November!! He remembered me!! YAYAYAYAYYAYAY!!!! good way to start!

today has got to be one of the more frustrating days i've had in forever! i got yet another email from the bursar's office at lsu informing me that my registration was not yet complete and my funds would be returned to the lender in three business days.....so i quickly go to the online system so see what is gumming up the works--well i discover i have a hold on my account (that may i mention wasn't there when i checked yesterday) from student health services; they apparently need my immunization info! well thanks so much for your helpful missive letting me know this in plenty of time to fix it...NOT!!! so i call my mom who, thank god already anticipated the innumerable fuck ups on LSU's end, had the records at her fingertips....she filled out the forms and faxed them to the student health center--problem solved!

well when i went to check that my hold had been lifted i looked at my disbursement status.....that's when i get the wonderful news that I"M NOT A FUCKING RESIDENT OF LOUISIANA!! apparently living here for four years does not qualify in their minds as "proof" of residency! this wouldn't be such a big deal if it didn't end up TRIPLING my tuition meaning out of nearly $11,000 in student aid i walk away with $3,000 to support myself over the next 6 months! i called the graduate admissions and they said that i hadn't provided enough info for them to make a decision so they AUTOMATICALLY put me as out of state! WTF!!! now i gotta get a new license, voter registration and show my state tax records to prove residency.....oh and write out an appeal so i can get my freaking money back! WTF!

so trying to quickly solve this problem i go to the closest dmv---scratch that i first check online to see what i need to get my new license and voter card....all it says is a primary source of identification, out of state license or social security card.....well i head down there with license and social security card in hand.....wait 30 minutes in line to GET TO THE FREAKING LINE TO GET A TICKET TO STAND IN LINE.....only to be told i need a "primary" source of identification--passport or birth certificate! wtf! that is sooooo not what the website said....basically i just wasted an hour out of my day and ended up more frustrated than i was before.....so tomorrow i get to wake up and the butt crack of dawn and head to the dmv to once again stand in line!

but on the happier side of things i had a great night last night at work....went and hung out with dj andy, mc dd, jesus (bar-back named justin), phil, shall, big al, and terry at johnny white's after work.....we closed aroud 1 am....but we ended up sitting and bullshiting, playing random trivia until after 5! i haven't laughed that much in a long time! it was awesome......i'm so thankful for my job at cat's....i've made so many friends and had so many great experiences! i wouldn't trade it for anything--well maybe a few million dollars! i mean, on friday i went out with mc christina and her friend ellie after i got off work.....had another great night that ended somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 am.....but i wouldn't have any of these people in my life if not for my work....i'm so lucky in that......it does help mitigate the DISASTER that is today!

and in other news....paolo nutini concert at the house of blues on sept 3! i'm totally going!!

i think i'm gonna explode....this semester is starting to hit me all at once.....nunez registration is this week so i will know by the end of the week how many classes i will be teaching ( i already am working on the online class i've been assigned)....next wednesday is the new graduate student orientation at lsu and then on thursday it's the history department's orientation........then classes will start the following monday! plus i gotta find the time to move out into my own apartment all while working (hopefully) four nights a week at cats!

i'm starting to get really scared that the semester schedule will not work out....that i will get stuck driving to baton rouge every other day, and never be home......i dont know....i'm just scared of everything falling apart....

oooo did i mention i didn't get the letter for the history dept's grad orientation....dr. stater told me about it when i emailed him in june but i haven't heard of it since....i got a welcome letter from the history grad student alliance and a welcome from the overall grad dept but nothing from the history dept since dr. stater told me forever ago...which makes me even more nervous.....i know i'm accepted and it was just some glitch but seriously why do i always have to be the one with the freaking glitch!!!!

ugh i hate looking for apartments! i hate the whole process.....i've been so lucky in the past with finding places that are just perfect....my first apartment was awesome (a bit of a dump but still awesome) perfect location, perfect price.....then my second apartment with denny was beautiful.....all the amenities that you could possibly want......and now i'm searching new orleans for my next place to live....ideally i want a two bedroom for the simple reason that i need an office.....having my desk in my bedroom is not very conducive to my work ethic!! i also like having a place for people to come and visit......i also would like a place with a yard or some sort for trip.....it is soooo hard to find a place that accepts pets! grrr.....

i looked at a place this morning...it was 1/2 of a double shotgun house......problem is that it is seriously in need of renovations....they did fix the bathroom up really nice but the rest is totally nasty....and it doesn't have a/c only window units.....on the plus side it does have a yard for trip and is in a nice enough neighborhood....but for $700 a month i'm expecting just a bit more......plus i didn't get that feeling i did with my other apts....that "this is my new home" vibe.....oh well i just gotta keep looking!!

my life might suck at times...but i've got to say that i have the BEST dog on the face of the planet!

and john salley comes in a close second! i can't believe how much i'm enjoying watching this stupid show--i'm a celebrity get me out of here...but i really love these crappy d-listers! especially lou diamond phillips and john salley. so far my favorite john sally quote is "you must be out your rabbit faced mind"....HHAHAHHA AWESOMENESS IN A BOX!!!

in other celebrity related news....i got to meet the lead singer and drummer from OneRepublic at work last night....the singer, Ryan, actually sang Rihanna's Umbrella--like AMAZINGLY! it was hysterical. and they were totally cool, didn't try to cut in line or anything...actually none of us recognized the lead singer dude at all.....until his girlfriend came up and told us who he was and asked us to let him sing apologize....now i work on bourbon st--i hear all sorts a crap on a nightly basis so i was really skeptical....and i basically gave her a funny look and told her i'd ask the dj (james)...i jumped into the dj booth and told james about the dude and how he wanted to sing apologize--which basically got this reaction "hell no that shit's way too slow and sucks".....so then i proceeded to ask if he knew what the dude from OneRepublic looked like so I could tell if the chick was bullshitting me and james said "fuck if i know"--even funnier!! So i told the chick i couldn't play it but they could talk to the dj.....anywho they came up to me later (the girlfriends) and put in another song and they confirmed that those dudes were OneRepublic--wow.....first celebrity siting and the entire Cat's crew didn't know who the freak they were!! Awesome!

i know that one of the byproducts of loosing weight is that my metabolism is increased....which is a great thing! but the downside is that i get hungry every few hours which is such a pain in the ass.....i mean every two hours i get hungry! not quite hungry enough to eat a huge meal or anything, but hungry for a snack or something...

all this snacking is great when i'm home and have access to my granola bars and such but it's getting to the point where i carry around granola bars in my purse so when i get hungry i'm not left to starve!!! ugh!

it's just ridiculous! i'm smaller than i've ever been in my life and i'm eating like a freaking horse!! every two hours i'm heading into the kitchen to get something else to eat....blar. oh well as long as i stay skinny i will keep snacking like i have been!

wow i haven't had a chance to really post in forever.....i guess since beth's wedding last month! it's been a pretty eventful month.....finished the move in with sam.... everything is still going ok there... no major issues--well except the fact that i'm still flat broke and he has to buy food for me...... that definitely puts a little strain on the relationship... i'm supposed to be getting my deposit on the old apt back but the lady sent it certified mail and i have NO idea when it will freaking well get here...i've been waiting since last week...i've already called her once to find out exactly what day she sent it on--bitch was totally unclear about what day which makes me worry she hasn't sent it yet....grrr that's money I REALLY need and she's taking her sweet freaking time sending it!!

in other news.....i'm still working 3 nights a week at cat's..... i'm so thankful for that job in so many ways..... they are really great people..... we had a lunch meeting the other week for all the entertainment staff and basically our boss just took us out for a nice lunch to say thanks for all our hard work! it was awesome-- i had steak! i've been working happy hour shifts on fridays which i really liked cuz i didn't have to stay out til 5 in the morning......but i've been traded back to friday close as of this week....i really enjoyed sam dropping me off at 4 and picking me up at 9....not having to find freaking parking! grrrr.....that is the one downside to the damn job.... finding a parking spot in the quarter is like finding a freaking needle in a stack of razor-sharp knives-- and let us not forget the potential of being towed! it's like russian roulette with your car--and at the end of it you loose your car and $300 for the towing fee!

let's see what else.....hmmmm i went to rita's for the weekend (i went to cinnamon's last weekend--which was AWESOME).... i haven't gotten to hang out with rita in a long time which is sad since we live so close....basically between work and dealing with sam and the move and whatnot i've been too busy to go hang out like i used to...... but i remedied that this weekend..... took my shit there so i could spend the night.....hung out with phia in the pool.... went skinny dipping with rita..... played on the computer..... went shopping (don't worry i only bought a new bra-- apparently i've lost two inches around my chest in the last 6 months or so--which means ALL of my bras are too big--now as a person with no money you might be asking how important fitted bras are; surely i could go on wearing bras that were too big for me..... i thought that too until i was walking around the mall with rita and my tits FELL out of my bra when i bent over...not once, not twice but EVERYTIME....grrrrrrr and this was the final straw--i've been dealing with the boobs popping out for a while now so i snapped and got a new one) anywho the weekend was really nice....i'm hoping to go back and spend the night again this week!

i'm also helping rita out with some school work....she's taking classes to finish up her masters but is way overloaded....as we were hanging out i started reading one of the civil war books she has--ugh civil war! but it looked interesting so i got into it and being the lifelong student i am i started underlying and critically analyzing the book.....which led me to offering to read the book for rita and write the book review....i know this is cheating but i have a couple of reasons for it....the most important being--i start LSU in the fall and i haven't written or analyzed anything in over a year since my last real class.....yes i worked on my writing skills with forrest for the last year and they are top notch but i need practice on analysis....make sure i'm up to snuff....and this way, by reading and writing this stuff for rita i will be able to practice, brush up my skills before starting LSU....i won't feel so scared.....